The Morning

“When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” Psalm 56:3

October 24, 2000 is a date written in my Bible next to the above verse. I was up rather late mulling over what the next day would bring. I was not looking forward to it and didn’t want it to come. I feared and resented it. It would bring to me something I didn’t want to do. Yet, without it I could possibly die. The morning would bring chemotherapy into my life. After years of taking care of myself I was being forced to put toxins into my body in order to rid myself of the cancer that chose to invade it. My body had betrayed me and I was angry at it. I didn’t want to be sick. I didn’t want to have to go through chemo. It just wasn’t fair. I was deeply afraid of the unknown that would be upon me as soon as the night faded away and the morning dawned.

As I flipped through my Bible I came across this simple verse that impacted my life that night. I was very much afraid to do what I had to do. I can only imagine what Jesus felt the night he was praying in the garden of Gethsemane. He knew what He had to face the next morning. He knew the painful road that lay ahead of Him and yet He had to face it. Did He fear the morning? Did He resent it? Did He think it wasn’t fair that He had to die? Did He want to run away and not face it? Maybe. Yet, the morning did come and He did face the cross. He had to be our sacrifice so that we would be free and He willingly endured it for us.

It’s been 6 years ago this day that I carried that verse with me throughout the night, into the morning, on my way to the treatment room and as I watched the red medicine drip into my vein. It was a small price to pay for my life. But Jesus paid an even bigger price to give us life.

If you are like I was that night and resisting the morning because of fear, loneliness, sadness, regret or any number of things, remember that you are not alone. Jesus faced the same things you face this very moment. He wants to carry your burdens because He understands what you're going through. You don’t have to face the morning alone. When you are afraid turn your eyes heavenward and call out to Jesus. He will hear you as He heard me that one lonely night when I was afraid to face the morning.

Krista Jones
10.24.06